We will never stop wanting children.

We will never really be "over it."

We are told we should "be over it by now" by people who have children.

Like any deep wound, it will take time to heal, and there will always be a scar.


  1. you know what I tell those people with kids who say, "you should be over it by now."? I tell them to imagine for one minute their life without their blessed children. That empty feeling they get for that one minute? That's what I feel every effing day of my life. So I don't need to get over it...I still have hope a miracle will happen for my husband and me.

    I'm sorry people are saying things like that to you...Sending you hugs!

  2. Agreed. I think I read in one of the links you have posted that it's really a grieving process, almost like a death in the family.

  3. I agree with the poster above. I am stunned that they would expect that of you. This isn't your choice, it was forced upon you. How the heck are you supposed to "get over" that?
    I am sorry you don't have better IRL support. :(

  4. I know in other posts you said you don't do anything half asses, but can I ask if you've ever read the book "Unsung Lullabies".
    Even the first couple pages made me weep until I was shaking, but it explains how "normal" people don't understand infertility and don't understand that type of loss.

    You didn't actually lose a child, they say.... but you did. With each passing cycle, you lost that hope, that dream of a child, of a family. And now, with your resolution that the trying is over... you've buried that dream. The mourning process is the same. Treat it that way. Don't worry about what others say.

    You did lose your child. In the sense that you lost that idea.

    *hugs* I don't even know you, but I want to say that I love you! Time does heal, but the length is different for everyone.

    1. Baby Makes Three - why can't I get to your blog? :( HELP!

    2. Try now. I think my security settings were all messed up.