about adoption

We spent over two years trying to adopt. We applied for over 100 children/sibling groups from all over the USA. We were never chosen.

Our social worker has told us we can no longer qualify for adoption due to lack of funds.

We have always been open to adoption. We are home study approved. Unfortunately we can no longer qualify.

You can read about our 2+ year journey to adopt on my old blog A Family is Born.

[Kellie, Thank you for your comment. We really wish we could adopt, we know there are a lot of children out there who need homes.]


  1. Ohhh, this has to feel terrible. I'm so sorry. I've been reading your your blog often and I'm so glad that you are going to continue to writing. May God wrap you in his arms and hold you tight while He reveals His big plan.

  2. ((hugs))...why is it so difficult for some of us?

  3. KT - I have no idea, just the luck (luck?) of the draw I guess. But I will really never understand it. It doesn't make good sense. Wishing you all the best in your journey sweet pea!


  4. Have you considered working with a placement agency? We had an excellent experience with Abrazo Adoption Associates of San Antonio TX and I think they offer some lower cost options for families where money is a limiting factor. There were several families in our orientation group who had had frustrations with other adoption routes and everyone I've known to go through their program is placed with a child in less than a year. If you're truly ready to move on to a child-free life, then I don't want to hamper that decision or prolong your grieving process, but I just couldn't read your story and not share information about our agency where their motto is, "it's not "if," it's "when"!". Best wishes to you wherever this journey takes you. I hope you can find a peaceful place to hide, rest, and heal this holiday season.

  5. Hi Julie! I too have had my share of heartbreaks in the goal to have children. But one thing I noticed after going through your adoption process, it's a similar to what we have done, we started out with 0-5, then changed to 0-8 then to 0-10 and now added up to 3 children, and added all races. After months of continuously submitting homestudies on children that were also already adopted, and/or can't go out of state. We even are going above and beyond what we originally wanted and willing to accept sexually abused, medical issues, etc. It's frustrating!

    What has helped (a little), is that we are actually going through a agency instead of just a social worker as I saw you did. Our homestudy was only $1000 vs. your $1900. And we are also pairing up with the Adoption Network which also helps in searching. Our agency has a matchign coordinator on staff, which handles all of our hoemstudy inquiries, etc. Though really hasn't helped a whole lot - but is getting better after we met with her again.

    We have submitted on 112 children. We had one failed miscarraige, and was told that carrying a baby to term would not happen, on top of that, I also have PCOS as well, and also learned I have a gluten intolerance (celiac disease) as well. It's been a frustrating year.

    However, I do wish you the best of luck. Our next route after this, if after a year or two nothing happens is to probably just switch to foster care and hope that well end up with a foster-to-adopt situation.

    But one thing that our agency negated to tell us, is after we also took the classes for the fostering ability, that they are actually two seperate programs, and in order to foster, we practically have to resubmit everything.

    I hope and pray that we both can be mothers one day, and that when we are, that those children know what we had to do to get them , and how much we loved them before we even knew them.

    I wish you the best of luck.


  6. ABCGirl & Crystal -

    Thank you for the tips! They are much appreciated. It is just such a difficult time. We are physically and emotionally exhausted from you long journey, but we really don't want to face child-free living (man, I even hate that term, it reminds me too much of "germ-free living" ...ugh).

    We have been considering looking into foster care after the new year. Right now, I think we are mourning not having a pregnancy and giving birth to a child again, as we did in 2008.

    Our adoption agency will not let us pursue adoption while having infertility treatment, so we had to put adoption on the back burner this year.

    Thank you again for the helpful tips. We will certainly look into things.

    I wish you both all the best on your journeys.


  7. I haven't heard of being told you no longer qualify do to funds. I haven't read all of your other posts but it seems like their could be some way to get the funds through fund raising, loans or grants.

    It just saddens me that when someone wants a child to badly it doesn't happen for them.

  8. If you have questions about going through foster care, I'd be happy to answer any questions when you are ready.

  9. I know I'm a complete stranger that just happened to find your blogs...but...
    I don't understand how you no longer "qualify due to funds" We adopted both our kiddos...from birth...as private adoptions...no agencies...and not once did our social workers who did our homestudies say we had to have x amount of funds. Maybe this is a state to state issue...but I've never heard of it. I would talk to another social worker. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I know that I felt so alone when going through my miscarriages, fertility treatments...and the waiting of adoption. I pray that you know that you aren't alone.
    p.s. I read this entry months ago...and it has bothered me since. I've been praying for you everytime it comes to mind.

  10. Marisela - Maybe it is different from state, but we have to show we have a certain amount of money in savings (which we don't have), a certain amount of available credit (which we don't have) and a certain amount of available monthly income (which we don't have). We don't have it all due to the amount of money we've spent over the past 12 years trying to have children.

    It seems the system is screwed up, at least in our state.

    Thanks for the prayers, they are much appreciated.

  11. Oh my...screwed up doesn't even begin to describe it. I will continue to pray for you! This just isn't right...sorry this is the first time I'm commenting you....but your blog has helped me in ways you'll never know...and I'm sure there are a lot more of us "lurkers" that that is true for. Eventhough I don't know you...I do know that you are an amazing woman!