the gravity of infertility

I recently had a conversation with two friends of mine (who happen to be infertile) about why others cannot seem to grasp the gravity of infertility. Many people in the infertile world often compare infertility to cancer because everyone seems to be able to empathize with cancer patients, however very few are able to empathize with infertility patients.

People seem to think it's ok to jokingly offer an infertile person their children. This is not appropriate. "Oh you can't have kids? ha ha ha, you can have mine! ha ha ha." This is neither appropriate nor funny to someone suffering from infertility.

People would never dream of joking with a breast cancer patient by offering them a boob. Not appropriate, not funny.

But people continue to offer us their kids, and I continue to respond by saying "I'll take them."

My friend recently said:

I was thinking of other examples [besides cancer].... Like dismemberment, loss of a child (which clearly relates). As for empathy, I think people see childbearing as a right or something only for those so approved... I have been told many times that this shows I should not have kids because there is clearly something wrong with me. People see infertilies as second class, so there is no need to empathize.

My other friend said:

Would you tell a person with lymphoma that God didn't mean for him to live long and he should just accept it?

We think not, so why, why, WHY is it ok to tell infertiles that they weren't meant to have children, weren't meant to be parents, that things have worked out for the best?

Unacceptable.

When we use cancer as an example (and I am not alone in this), we are not trying to belittle cancer patients, we are trying to raise awareness of infertility and it's gravity in order to help others understand.